Quotes

What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though.

So says Holden Caulfield in J.D. Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye.  And tonight, I thought about how great it would be if I could call Donna Tartt and tell her how much I enjoyed The Goldfinch.  Of course, I would probably freeze up or babble ridiculously, saying nothing original.  I would surely be intimidated by her talent, her confidence, her intelligence . . . the same qualities that made The Goldfinch such a brilliant work.

Not to argue with Holden, but what really knocks me out about a book is being happy and sad at the same time once I've finished reading it.  The same as with movies, books stay with me a long time, the characters having taken up residence in my head.  I am happy to have them come and stay awhile, but I am sad that their stories are over.  I'm not ready to say goodbye.  To Theo and Hobie and Pippa and even Boris.

Boris put me on edge throughout the entire novel.  And I could never decide if I liked him or not.  (A direct result of Tartt's brilliant writing.)  But on page 745, I found myself leaning more favorably toward him.  (It just took awhile, I guess.)

Well -- I have to say I personally have never drawn such a sharp line between 'good' and 'bad' as you. For me: that line is often false. The two are never disconnected. One can't exist without the other. As long as I am acting out of love, I feel I am doing the best I know how. But you -- wrapped up in judgment, always regretting the past, cursing yourself, blaming yourself, asking 'what if,' 'what if.' 'Life is cruel.' I wish I had died instead of.' Well -- think about this. What if all your actions and choices, good or bad, make no difference to God? What if the pattern is pre-set? No no -- hang on -- this is a question worth struggling with. What if our badness and mistakes are the very thing that set our fate and bring us round to good? What if, for some of us, we can't get there any other way?

That is a question worth struggling with.  I think I've been struggling with it ever since I was able to question god and religion and faith and destiny and all those unanswerable questions.  That Tartt so cleverly places the question near the end of her story assures that the reader is not finished.  I will still be contemplating this weeks from now.  Or forever.

I actually dog-eared some pages of this book, something I don't think I've done since my teaching days.  There are other pages and quotes I will revisit over the next few days as I try to digest this story.  I almost want to read it again, right now, but you know what they say:  So many books, so little time.  I will just have to find another story to love.