Vinegar

If you were expecting a different V-word for this February 14 post, I'm sorry to disappoint.  No, not really.  Despite the fact that my father's first name was Valentine (try getting through grade school with that!), I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day, for obvious reasons.  A pair of doves flew onto my side porch this morning, just to rub it in.  But at the same time, my friend Janet sent me a Valentine's greeting on Facebook chat, but instead of typing out the word "Valentine," she meant to interject a  heart icon.  However, the icon didn't come through, so she wished me a "Happy  's Day!"  And I thought, yes, for those of us who are uncoupled, we can have a Happy Apostrophe Ess Day.  Somebody call Hallmark.

But about vinegar, that miracle liquid that has my love today.  I have been on a cleaning craze during this frigid winter.  Vinegar is helping me clean my floors, my cabinets, my walls.  Its versatility is amazing!  The only problem is that I keep craving hard-boiled eggs.

When I was a kid, I thought vinegar existed for the singular purpose of coloring Easter eggs.  That smell was as much a part of Easter happiness as the smell of chocolate or of ham dinner.  My mother must have used vinegar for something else, but I have no idea what.  Our only salad dressing was store-bought orange-dyed French dressing, which was poured over a wedge of iceberg lettuce.  I'm pretty sure the lettuce wedge only served as something to hold the French dressing, which was, of course, the main attraction.  If there was any vinegar in it, you could have fooled me.

Becoming environmentally conscious in recent years meant finding alternate cleaning products in order to limit the use of harsh and destructive chemicals.  The long-suppressed secret, the knowledge that Proctor & Gamble and Dow Chemical and S.C. Johnson didn't want you to know is that vinegar can clean everything, from your toilet to your laundry to your eyeglasses to your fruits and vegetables.  Just google "vinegar uses" and you will find how to use vinegar to remove crayon marks, soften your fabrics, and polish your furniture.

In the kitchen, you can use vinegar to make a buttermilk substitute, tenderize meat, and keep cheese fresh.  Beyond the kitchen, vinegar can be used to make your own aftershave, cure your athlete's foot, and make your nail polish last longer.  Just amazing!

This past summer, on the advice of a gardening friend, I substituted vinegar for the evil Roundup to kill the pesky weeds that try to take over the stone pathways around my house.  And it works!  Those weeds just wither when I approach them with a sprayer full of vinegar.

And here's where I get confused.  How can something capable of destroying plant life also be helpful in  washing vegetables, tenderizing meat, and dressing salads?

But then, isn't vinegar just like love?  Capable of destroying your heart, but oh, so delicious when offered up as garnish for life!

Happy Vinegar's Day!